[Brief Rider] N°1

min read

Today, 2 horses said no to me.

I had 6 horses to work: 5 were supposed to work under saddle.

Well, when it came time to saddle up, two of them politely declined. No big bites or threats from their hindquarters, far from it, but an uncertain look, a twitch of the back, a swishing of the tail... They had said no.

As always when this happens, I question myself. I try to listen to my instincts, putting aside my pride as a human being who has been told no (personally, I find that stings, don't you?)

Well, I took the saddle off, and both of these horses did very good groundwork sessions.

I didn't "waste time" doing these sessions; on the contrary, I feel I gained some. What would have happened if I hadn't listened?

In fact, most of the time, nothing.

Some horses are talking louder and louder, a huge number of them stop talking "actively." We must not forget that horses are prey animals and as such, their primary goal is survival... They are therefore very good at hiding a whole bunch of things! But I would have lost. Lost for the future, by fracturing our relationship a little more with each ignorance.

And even if the following walking sessions had been littered with "noes," that would have been okay, too. And a source of self-questioning. You can't only have perfect days...

If today these horses felt free to politely decline, it is because on a daily basis they are listened to. By making sure to honor their "yes" as much as their "no", they gain confidence in us, in themselves, and from experience I find the progress faster, healthier and sustainable, once the path of trust is drawn. It may be that depending on the individuals, it is necessary to go a little beyond their no, to show them that another way of functioning, of interacting is possible, but for that you have to know them and have already laid the foundations of this climate of exchange.

It took me a while to trust my instincts. Doing less, doing things differently, knowing when to go further... These are delicate concepts, and trusting yourself on these issues is even more delicate. Every person who has marked my journey so far has given me a key to understanding my instincts.

Moreover, it is a fragile balance... There will be failures, that's obvious!

But I can already see the comments like "if we listen to them every time, we won't do anything with them anymore!"

Well no, again it's far from true. Try it, if you are motivated not to betray them later... . On the other hand, if you find me completely crazy, and refuse to dig into the subject, it's rather cool, because it saves us time wasted trying to mutually find common ground. Our paths are perhaps not yet ready to cross, if one day that is the case... . In the meantime, I am convinced that I am doing the best for my horses, with the knowledge that I have today, and I promise myself to always seek to learn more. This is our shared philosophy at Les Ecuries du Roque'd'Or ...